Posts on Goofing around
April 29, 2006
Bird flew?
Looks like the Bird Flu isn't much of an issue in Southern Spain. The food court in Malaga airport has a family of sparrows that quite happily mix with the people and wasted food. Here's one sitting on an empty chair next to where I was munching on a donut.
You get the joke right... bird flew... airport... fly... flu... flew? Ok ok... I'm done.
Posted by vinayak at 11:21 PM
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April 8, 2006
March 2006 Search Parade: Perversion and Academia collide
As always, I'm back with my favourite pastime... I'm convinced I have to write a paper on search engine results sometime in my life! Anyway, here are the most popular search strings that lead people to this website.
I'm beginning to realise that the Mallu Sex traffic is an endogenous result of it being the unquestionable champion now for one and a half years. That said, given that I'm a few years away from becoming an honorary Mallu, it's nice to see that the not so kinky among you still land up here when you search for your brethren.
It's also funny to notice that a lot of people misspell retarded (myself included!).
Tom Sargent enters the top ten, mostly because of all the gushing from three months ago!
Sadly, down in the rankings is my celebrity ex-roomie, Abhimanyu Radhakrishnan who according to the CNBC India website is their "veteran techno-guru" My gay roomie post still attracts a lot of attention. Sorry fart face... I couldn't resist... and there's a big grin on my face!
Kerry's famous comment line "So many I peed myself" was pretty popular too, with around 30 searches last month!
Sorry... I'm just very very bored, and I'm sick of studying for the exams!
Here's the list:
mallu sex
vinayak
mallu
retarted people
vinayak nagaraj
vinayak lse
mallu clips
tom sargent
econ junkie lse
mallu sex photos
lse blogs
nobu kiyotaki
lse blog
receding hairline
mallu pics
lse econ
www.vinayak.com
retarded people
vinayak economics
little april
mallu sex blog
junkie teacher
kevin krabbenhoeft
abhimanyu radhakrishnan
blog lse
i peed myself
mallu sex clips
peed myself
ugly mugshots
lse
March 29, 2006
Winds of change
I have a feeling the Scorpions were walking down a London street when they thought up the song. One of the most beautiful things about living in London (in my humble opinion) are those few days in a year where you get to feel (and see) seasons dramatically change.
If on day zero it's so cold you could shit ice cubes out and then suddenly on day one it rains like crazy and you can barely move one step forward before being hurled ten steps back by the fierce wind... you've just experienced the Winter - Spring interchange day. (Incidentally, this happened two days ago)
If on day zero it's just darn beautiful outside and you feel like dancing to a Hindi movie song at Regent's Park, and then suddenly on day one your underwear is beyond drenched in sticky yucky sweat... you've just experienced the Spring - Summer interchange day.
If on day zero you can barely breathe because your office is in toaster mode, and then suddenly on day one you feel this cold breeze reach inside your pants and envelope itself around your most sacred possessions... you've just experienced the Summer - Autumn interchange day.
And finally... if on day zero you're wearing a scarf and a light sweater while braving the showers, and then suddenly on day one your nipples seem to have made their way to Brighton... you've just experienced the Autumn - Winter interchange day.
Seriously though... it's sad that most of these days happen during vacation time... they really give this city character (in my humble opinion)... does anyone know what I'm saying?
Posted by vinayak at 7:49 PM
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March 21, 2006
The Bayes-Nash algorithm
10 Does your name contain the names Harsanyi or Nash?
20 If yes goto 1000 else goto 30
30 Are you Nature?
40 If yes goto 1000 else goto 50
50 What type are you, high or low?
60 If high goto 1000 else goto 70
70 Do you feel like some action?
80 If yes goto 90 else goto 1000
90 Does your strategy function correctly map your type to your action?
100 If yes goto 1000 else goto 110
110 Does your action space include {"Aceing the Micro final"}?
120 If yes goto 1000 else goto 130
130 Do you have prior evidence that you're a complete failure?
140 If yes goto 150 else goto 1000
150 Does your posterior hurt like hell?
160 If yes goto 170 else goto 1000
170 Do you feel so low that you know it just isn't your pay(off) day?
180 If yes goto 190 else goto 1000
190 Are you a free-rider?
200 If yes goto 210 else goto 1000
210 Have you made it a point to think about both life as a high type AND life as a low type?
220 If yes goto 250 else goto 230
230 Remember, you have to think of all types, as Confucius says, "Don't leave everything to nature because Nash wouldn't call it an equilbrium."
240 Goto 250
250 This is it, you've made it. Welcome to the Non-Bayesian world, you just failed every test out there!
260 Goto 1000
1000 Print "This is torture isn't it? Bayes RULEZ!"
1010 END
Posted by vinayak at 11:20 PM
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March 7, 2006
Stressbusting Dr. Seuss style
Pressure cookers are great replicas of stressed out people. The physics behind both these odd specimens is identical. Steam builds up until it blows the hell out of this tiny vent.
I've always been a stressed out kind of person deep down, I try to masquerade around and pretend to be this ever cool guru of everything calm. Lies, all lies! I have no nails, very little hair (some of which is turning grey!), and I know know exactly how many paces it is from my office to the mailbox, and to the loo. Playing squash helps, but I'm pretty sure no one else appreciates playing squash with me or in the court next to me -- let's just say I haven't been a happy camper (Powell style). Nerves nerves nerves... they're *very* annoying.
One thing that does calm me down is Dr. Seuss. I went on a second hand buying spree, finding my favourite Dr. Seuss books in and around the internet. Here are my favourite quotes:
"Adults are obsolete children, and the hell with them!"
"Be who you are and say what you want, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of the telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities."
"You have brains in your head, you have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose!"
Theodore is my kind of guy...
Posted by vinayak at 12:11 PM
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February 4, 2006
Lost in life, and a receding hairline.
The receding hairline says it all. In case any of you wanted to fix me up with someone... now's a good time. There might be no hair left by the time we revisit this issue next year.
Posted by vinayak at 5:53 PM
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January 29, 2006
mallu sex is still the undisputed champion
It's that time of the year again when I put out my search lists. These are the top 15 queries that people typed on search engines to lead them to my website. Continuing its run at the top (by a comfortable margin) is Mallu Sex... and I'm really beginning to worry about that one. After a long time my name figures in number two, followed by Little April (a porn star), and then down at 7 is my former roomie and ever famous CNBC super star Abhimanyu (who isn't a porn star). People seem to be getting bored of Mohini Bharadwaj, the gymnast.
A new entrant who's at a whopping 6th place... is "Retarted people" (sic)... something that I believe has potential to be number 1 in the months ahead, given the nature of my blog.
Here's the top 15:
1. mallu sex
2. vinayak
3. little april
4. lse blog
5. vinayak lse
6. retarted people (sic)
7. abhimanyu radhakrishnan
8. blog lse
9. vinayak nagaraj
10. econ junkie
11. life of an econ junkie
12. baba maal
13. nobu kiyotaki
14. mohini bharadwaj
15. vinayak blog lse
Posted by vinayak at 10:13 AM
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January 24, 2006
Another Tom Sargent high.
It just keeps getting better... there will be some major withdrawal symptoms next week!
(While discussing the time (in)consistency problem) "You're solving this problem at time zero and you walk away. You're handing these equations to a monkey... not a PhD."
(While talking about robustness) "Because statisticians are always taking logs of Likelihood Ratios, so I'll do it too."
"Here's how you compute this. We'll use the stare method. Stare at it, go get a beer and see if it reminds you of anything."
(Talking about min max problems in robustness) "You can be George Bush... to him θ is infinity... 'I have exactly the right model to solve this problem.'... or you can include a Wt+1 term just in case they don't give you flowers and kisses when you invade."
December 23, 2005
This blog kills my social life.
People seem to be checking this blog more often than they keep in touch with me. I called up Nikki to tell her she'd missed a good day out with Shirin and Madhav, only to get, "I know... I read your blog and saw the photos on Flickr". Well fine! So much for my own storytelling (of course... anyone who knows me knows I'm PATHETIC at telling stories), but at least pretend that you're hearing something new! Economists have feelings you know :)
Of course, this is a much milder example. Take another instance... dinner with good company ended up being this boring monologue of her telling me which posts on my blog she really loved, and the ones that she didn't much care for (though she was nice enough to call me later and laugh about it). Sigh...
Anyway...
Merry Christmas everyone! Santa has some excellent stuff coming your way...!
Here are some snaps from work Alistair took. Brownie points for those of you who can guess the books on my bookshelf and leave a comment!
Update#5: Kyle gets Fumio Hayashi's Econometrics, Advanced Microeconomic Theory by Jehle and Reny, Gujarati's Basic Econometrics, Sundaram's Optimization Theory, and Johnston & DiNardo's Econometric Methods. Wow!
Update#4: Chris Silvey woke up from a year long slumber to claim Freakonomics, and Romer's Advanced Macroeconomics. Those aren't solutions manuals but my folders for this term. Chris also politely expressed his dismay at not seeing Mas-Colell, Whinston & Green. The highly observant among you will still find it, just not on the bookshelf. Chris -- you already know where it is so shh!
Update#3: Ziad got Simon & Blume, Ljungqvist & Sargent (The Red Book), and Barro/Sala-i-Martin
Update#2: Shweta got Obstfeld & Rogoff, Varian (though she didn't tell me which one), Greene, and Alpha C. Chiang
Update: Nikki wins the first round of Brownie Points. So much for you Economists. She got "Monetary Policy by Walsh". That officially makes her the non-economist superwoman of the world! Anyone else wanna try?
Posted by vinayak at 2:49 PM
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November 17, 2005
Economics overkill
It's been a rough two weeks. I'm really losing it... and ten minutes ago... I found unequivocal evidence.
Scene: Laundry Room - Basement - Grosvernor House
I walk in with a two week bundle of clothes to wash. Two washing machines are free. I put my whites in one and colors in the other. Just as I'm getting soap up and start, another resident walks in and says, "Hi!" I sweetly reply with my own little "Hey... how you doin..." only to find her wakling towards the washing machine with my colors in it. I say, "Sorry, my stuff is in there and I'm just getting started." She points at the other machine and asks me, "What about that one? You're using two???" So I get down to nodding my head, only to find that she's totally gone ballistic. She spews out some nasty retorts and suggests that this problem can be remedied by removing my clothes from the machine. By now, I'm pissed (sorry ... it's been a long day... I'm hungry, depressed and really tired), so I move to slip my coins in and press the start button. The lady is now FURIOUS and screams "this is not fair... how dare you!" and starts banging on the machine.
Beat this... the only thing I could come up with... and I actually can't believe I yelled it out and stormed out of the room, was:
"SCREW YOU! THE MARKETS CLEAR SO IT DOESN'T MATTER DOES IT. GO TAKE IT UP WITH PARETO"
I am now officially in search of a life. Please... please help me!
Posted by vinayak at 5:44 PM
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October 29, 2005
Yahoo! Desktop Search, and some old memories
As you already figured from my last post, I'm quite the fan of travel writing. Earlier today, I installed Yahoo! Desktop Search, and as I was going through my stuff, an old memory popped up. It was one of my favourite quotes from a book called "In Xanadu", by William Dalrymple. Anoushka, a friend of mine from Madras, had introduced me some years ago to Dalrymple by buying me a book called "The City of Djinns". Dalrymple spent quite an exciting year in Delhi, and that book is a must read for anyone unconvinced that foriegners can actually be good Indians!
In Xanadu, Dalrymple's first book, was the travelogue of his journey during one of his vacations while at Cambridge. It is a journey through some of the most amazing parts of the world, detailing Marco Polo's journey from Jerusalem to Xanadu, Kublai Khan's palace. I thought I'd leave you to read a funny passage from the book:
"Why you come to Syria? You like Arab peoples? Good. You like Arab boys eh? No? Arab womens then? No? Who then?
(opens Laura's passport)
This picture your wife? She pretty womans. how much she cost? no - not your wife? girlfriend then? if you drink Raki then you make your girlfriend many times in one night. Once i make my girlfriend THIRTEEN times. You not believe? Thirteen times I tell you. My friend Abdul - he knows. Hey Abdul, I make my friend thirteen times, eh? You see. I very virile man. BIG minaret! Abdul knows, eh Abdul?
(continues describing minarets, drinking feats, girlfriends etc. etc. until I managed to move the conversation back onto passports. Then:)
"This is you? Abdul, look at the picture of the Ingliz! He wears necktie and jacket! You look very high man, very rich man. No? Neither? Why then necktie? You poor man? How come to Syria then? I dont believe. I poor man. You want Raki? We ALL want Raki! Abdul, fill my glass. Yes! Yes! You no like Arab boys? I know nice place. You dont want? Nor want womens? I tell you Arab womens the best in world. No? What can I say? More Raki! You want stamp? Abdul, he wants passport stamp! Here. you my friend. i give you special stamp. no extra cost. allah be with you. goodbye my friend. yes next time we go with little boys. ABDUL, THE RAKI!"
I fled. I found Laura and got a taxi to a hotel. It was a horrible place, with a pigeon in the shower, but atleast the door locked. We shut out Arabia and went to sleep.
Posted by vinayak at 1:12 AM
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September 26, 2005
economists on economy class
I know everyone jokes about the life of a 'poor graduate student'. Okay, I'll grant that there are lifestyles that could probably be much, much worse, and I don't want to sound like a snotty whine pot, but I thought I'd write a bit about how there are times when I crave to be an investment banker.
I'm not about fast cars (unless Minis are fast). I'm not much into big houses and fancy real estate. Small car, cozy apartment, even if I were filthy rich (which I'm not). But you know what I really really really want? I want to be able to waltz into first class when I fly home to see the folks (which I'm doing right now... this post comes to you from Washington Dulles Airport). I don't know why, but I keep getting the feeling that as the days go by, my ailing bones won't be able to manage the pleasant tortures that airline companies so lovingly indulge their Economy customers with.
Take for example my flight to Washington from London. My seat - 35E, on a Boeing 777. Hmm... have you ever seen those really funny Airbus advertisements that say "On an Airbus A320, you're only ever one seat from the aisle"? They were quite popular in India when they first came out, and I used to scoff at them, because I couldn't even possibly remember the last time I was shoved into a middle seat... a seat that is in the middle... the arithmetic mean of the number of seats in that row. Well well well, fate had it's delights in store for me tonight. I was stuck with two people on either side of me. The lady at the London terminal said "yes sir, I put special request for you sir... special special... we change your seat to best in aircraft... just ask lady at boarding gate". After removing my shoes (a procedure which, in my humble opinion is the REAL shoe bomb), booting my laptop, and going through great lengths of passion to truly assure the security lady that my bags were indeed packed by me, I finally caught sight of the boarding gate lady. On asking her for the promised seat, the boarding gate lady smiles, smiles to the other boarding gate lady that is, and says "oh we definitely have the best seat for you - you're sitting in it. 35 E - you get view of whole aircraft... like a commander in chief... you are in the middle of all the action!" How ironic that at just that moment, a guy with a "Goldman Sachs" tag on his bag walks by me with a polite grin as he proceeds into Door "A" for priority boarding. Hey... if it weren't for the dedicated cutting edge research of my clan you wouldn't be able to walk through Door A... so make sure you get that straight dude! Now if you don't mind... I'll see you when I enter through Door "B".
So I finally board the plane, and atleast God/Elvis was nice enough to give me two amazingly sweet (and breathtakingly gorgeous) women to keep me company on my left, and two really nice gay guys on my right. I decided to be nice as well and cooperate. I held my bladder until any one of the people on my right/left decided to get up, instead of bothering them both. Quite efficient, and a good exercise to see how far your urinary tract will support you in your endeavours to be a better person. I highly recommend it. We pass time doing sociable things, like bitching about the airhostess with an attitude problem, or just grunting.
There are other little things... dinner comes in a box, and the lady keeps screaming "after you finish make sure you put everything neatly into the box so we can dispose of it faster... neatly into the box... PUT IT BACK INTO THE BOX PLEASE". Meanwhile Goldman Sachs man is being mind-read by a clairvoyant head purser - "Are you feeling cold sir, you look cold, let me put this blanket on you." or "Would you like some more light to read that brief sir?" or "More dates sir?" or "The lavatory is vacant now sir, we're holding it for you." Sure... when you travel business class your urinary tract really misses out on something... but I wonder if it's okay to wish for a luxury as inane as that... a clairvoyant caretaker.
I could start about the seat pitch. Actually I will. As if it weren't enough for the poor graduate student to be subjected to the tortures of Economy, there is this growing section of the aircraft titled "Economy Plus". The seats are the same... the food is the same old crap... but the most sought after luxury of them all... one extra inch of legroom. Those idiots pay a fortune for a measly inch of legroom... and the Economics of it make so much sense (lots of demand) that they actually believe in the damn concept. Which means poverty stricken oafs like me have to see THREE groups of gleefully happy people... the ones up at first, the ones in business, and now... the ones on Economy Plus.
Then there's the question of the lounges. Goldman Sachs man (who is a really nice chap btw... no offense intended whatsoever to him) is en route to another destination as well... and he bids me farewell as I proceed to gate D10, while he looks up the first class lounge. He tells me he's on his way to visit his parents for a week. What a coincidence... that's MY agenda too... perhaps you'd like to talk over it with me in your lounge?
I love this life... I do so give me a break when I bitch about the crummy days.
Bon Voyage Goldman Sachs Man! Say hi to the folks.
Posted by vinayak at 5:21 AM
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September 3, 2005
The proud scape goat.. house hunting... for four women.
Now you know that I'm a regular chivalrous type right? I decided earlier last month to be a good best friend and volunteered to look for apartments/houses for my friend Gopika. She, along with three of her friends are looking for a place to stay somewhere around central london, or a little further out.
As I started the tedious process of hunting down places to stay, it brought back that fun feeling I had last year of having just moved to London. House hunting is one of the quickest, and most forceful ways to get to know your city inside out. Over the last month, I've seen around 30 properties, and man has it been interesting!
Of course, there are the more subtle problems of finding a place that all four women would love to live in, but then again, I've spent my whole life doing things not really different from this, so I guess the patient pacifist in me gets a good workout.
I feel good... its been a year and the cycle seems to be starting over again, with pleasant differences. For example, last year I was on the run of my life finding my own place. This year that's been taken care of well in advance, and I'm looking for friends. Last year I was dying trying to survive the September Math Course as a student. This year, I'm dying trying to figure out how to be a good teacher on the September Course and not look like a complete idiot.
What is everyone else upto? Kerry I noticed was finding inspiration on the Eastern side of life... and is currently whining about boxes in her house. She gets married to Seth soon... and has been gurgling for a while on her blog. Chris is a busy man these days... his last post was on August 10th. Masa is still cribbing... and I can never understand why... he's doing such wonderfully interesting things. I haven't heard much from Govind either in the last few months. Adora got pissed off with the Liberty Bell last week. Krabbenhoeft is dead having moved into his spectacular new home in Euston. Jacqueline can finally get it on :-)
Anyone else wanna drop a word on how the summer is going? I know your're out there!
Posted by vinayak at 12:49 PM
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August 3, 2005
Hahaha!
Nikki and Kevin went to Bristol last weekend, and they sent me this photo of a church front with an ad. I did some Googling, and found a proper full photo of it. It brings me inane joy to share it with the rest of the world.
Posted by vinayak at 11:17 AM
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July 31, 2005
What the hell do people search for?
My web statistics have always been interesting to look at, so this time I thought I'd share them with you.
Here are some interesting google searches that lead people to my site:
1. Little April (An internet porn star)
2. Washing Machine Sex
3. Ugly Mugshots
4. Garnier Fructus
5. Bean Bag Sex
6. Sqawk Box
7. Grandmom Nudist (what the hell?)
8. Famous Teatoatalers
9. Avatar Jacquelline Passey
10. Adora Washing and Drying Machine
11. Massage Parlours in Denia in Spain
12. Chris Silvey Volkswagen
13. Teach My Arse
14. Shweta Economics Math
15. Diane Coyle Dance
16. Dulcie David
17. South Indian Mallu Clips Forums
18. Bengali Cooks Singapore
19. Adora Tablets
20. Mallu Sex Clips
21. Submission Woman ISLM
22. Samira Said Gallery
23. Male Gymnast Romanians Photo Gallery
24. Socks Domination
25. Madras Gay Life
Wow... I never knew I was that famous. Or that perverted for that matter.
Posted by vinayak at 10:24 PM
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July 16, 2005
It's all good
I have great news. They did a medical on Cheney, and his colon is thankfully OK.
I was scared there for a second.
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